It happened in 2009.
But it doesn’t matter when or where the hell it happened. I know,it wasn’t on purpose. Nobody understands this post,except you. I’m not blaming you. Blame it on my over sensitive hormones,blame it on the estrogens. It’s nothing that you’re responsible for. I saw the texts,they were…unbelievable. I didn’t imagined something like this,so I was so shocked after I saw everything.
Okay seriously I’m not blaming you. We should cheer up,or rather,I should.
Been to the zoo with J yesterday. Our first date to the zoo! It was a date that was a million times better than I thought. The DSLR I borrowed from Dad captured those moments. ❤
Met him in the morning-I almost couldn’t wake up. We trained and bus-d our way there. (Seriously, it’s just so awesome to have my holiday while the other kids are still in school cos the zoo’s almost empty-There was no need for queues,even when we were buying the tickets) We took the zoo-per saver,$25.75 each. It’s zooper worth it,with the boat ride and the unlimited tram rides which we took whenever our legs got tired.
We visited all the animals except the sun bear,I dont know why.Hehehe,it’s just not attractive enough for me to get excited over it. Bunnies,ponies,snakes,tigers,otters,rhinos and zebra attract me more. Well actually the snakes disgust me but I love them. They look so sexy while they’re shedding their skin. Hahaha. The bunnies were ultra cute,although they were really stinky.
J bought Nuzzle for me. Nuzzle’s a toy dog and I love him like how I love my other toys ❤ And today,he got me piglet that I wanted from Kiddy Palace! How happy can I get,Im a happygal93 nowwwwwwwwwwwww 😀
I told my boyf I have post-z00 trip symptoms now. I miss the smell of animal poo.
*Pix uploaded the next time,toodles!
To J if you’re reading this post : Hi honey,it’s 6 more days to our 22nd month ❤ Let’s get excited 🙂
I cried for the whole night. I don’t know who I can turn to,so I’m here. Everything started off with me being so f-up like he said. I can’t put my feelings into words,I can’t describe how heart breaking I feel. 9th month and 21st month was a total disaster. I got my retribution. I lost a night’s sleep, crying away without a soul there to comfort me. Nobody understands this. They think I’m the strong girl. Who the hell even bothers to check if I’m crying every night,wetting my pillow again and again.
I feel so wrong to go into a relationship because all I gave him was agony. Not a single bit of happiness. After the quarrel he sent a text saying I was perfect to him,flawless like nobody’s business. I know who I am. I know what I am. That text wasn’t describing me at all. It’s just the flawless girl he mistook me for. That wasn’t what he really felt. The upper texts was how he really felt. The girl whom he described to be impatient, not caring, not loving. That’s me. Sometimes when people are angry, what they say are usually true. It’s just that they put it in a harsher way. And I got his point. My heart broke. That scar left will forever be in my heart. Just like the scar I earned during the 9th monthsary we spent together. It’s enough. 2 scars is enough. I was glad initially that it’s the holidays now and that this quarrel would not affect my studies. But now,I just wanna turn to books. I need to keep myself busy. I need to hide the weak side and show them that I’m perfectly okay. I need that image; to stop people from worrying.
I don’t know who I can turn to at this point of time. I need a shoulder to lean on. Someone to give me a kiss on the forehead and say I’ve done well. But that person must not be Jeremy. He’s perfectly normal after the quarrel. But I’m not. I cannot afford another massive quarrel, the kind of quarrel that would make me lose my sleep and wet my pillow, the kind that would give me another scar. How the hell do I put my feelings into words. The agony I’m facing. I want to cry but I can’t. I need to pretend, that I’m happy, that nothing’s gonna affect me.
His text was..hurtful.But everything was describing the real me. He wasn’t deceiving himself, he knew,that was me. He knew his text was hurtful but he sent it anyway because he felt that I should know. And I know I shouldn’t be crying anymore. I need a solution. I need to become the flawless girl he’s looking for. I’m heart broken because that girl he wants wasn’t me initially. I’m not flawless. He got it all mixed up.
When I’m out here typing this,there I am crying again. Look how weak Weiting is. I gotta move on.
Exams are officially over FOR NOW. So many things Im looking forward to in this 6 weeks of holidays. Like,catching up my sleep. & spending lots of time with my boyf. ❤
So tmr I’m having my first post-exam activity ie. CRABBING AND JP-ING. :>
Ohhhh.J helped to reformat my laptop. Finally it has a ‘shut down’ button now. That’s the happy thing (:
Exams start on the 22nd of August. Kill me please ): This is the first time I’m feeling SO-NOT-READY for the exams. Chemistry test yesterday was a flunk. It used to be my best subject,but it’s not anymore. I dont know whether it’s my problem, or its jst the fact that there’s an assignment/report given whenever I want to start studying. Worried for biology test next Monday and the practical test next Wednesday ): Biology is so not my forte. Year 2 sucks.
Had a quarrel with boyf yesterday. Yes,Im not understanding at times. Or was I too gluey. I dont know 😥
I just want us to be together. This cute chubby boy.
ANW. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISSY ❤
School’s very stressful lately. ): With all the tests and exams in 3 weeks time. Insomnia yesterday was really bad. Pathetic day today. I caught no ball in Pathology class today. My eyelids were drooping downwards. Sleeping early doesn’t seem realistic to me now.
GRR. REMAIN POSITIVE.
Tomorrow marks our 20th monthsary. ❤ It wasn’t easy for us to be together,for us to hold on to one another until now.
I feel so contented now.With Wong & the 7 girls around:D Wouldn’t be updating as frequently as I used to alr(: Extreme laziness.
I don’t believe in BFFs anymore.
Finally.I had 1 day of fun in my 3 weeks of YOG break.1 full day is not too overboard right?(:
Met honey @9am ytd.Trained to Bedok,then we went to NTUC to get our drinks.There was no need to buy food because we brought our own packed lunch(:He brought sardine sandwich,and I brought egg sandwich and fruits.Oh yah,Jeremy’s mum gave me that kueh she made,and it was superb.Extremely nice canxz.Cabbed down to ECP because we couldnt make up our minds on which bus to take exactly.Hahaha.Reached.&…We cycled :D! Was my first time trying out the couple bike.Honey sat on the front,cos the moment I tried to be the front-cycler,our bike hit the pole-.-‘Oh my god.CMI leh me.So boyf was the one cycling throughout((:He cycled and he sang.Tsk tsk.Crazy boy.Oh,our bike broke down halfway through.& Jeremy suddenly became the repair man.Not bad leh him^^Rating : 5/5.
Cycled till about 1pm.Had our homemade lunch♥Honey brought the bubble too.So we blew blew blew:D Machiam kids.Then there was this small Malay boy,could see he really wanted to play with us.And we did! Hahahaha.Built sandcastles,played with seawater,threw sand around,ran all over the place like some crazy people(((:
Went to wash up.And I nearly fainted.Someone poo-d all over the place in the toilet.OMG D: Trained to Clarke Quay,where someone pronounced it as ‘clarker-kueh’. Bodoh boy.Went to Lanlan’s uncle place for steamboat.Nice ttm.Walked around boat quay,then to Clarke quay Central to get my STICKY SWEETS! But too bad,the one I wanted was sold out 😦 But I still managed to get my grape and sour cherry! Wheeeeeeee:] Walked to Chinatown,OG and then trained back to lakeside 😀
& please.The sun was so scorching hot althought the weather forecast predicted something like a thunderstorm-.-‘There was not even a single drop of rain canxz.I miss yesterday so much. D: Because the moment I see my textbooks,I feel like crying.Exams in 2 more weeks?
Anyway,Thank you to boyf♥ for making my day.We rock!
Went to make spex myself today.Bloody red colour.
KITTY 